Writing to God. Day Five

Ecclesiastes 3:1-20

I dreamt of bacon last night. Bacon! Honestly, it’s only been five days since Lent began & I gave up eating meat for forty days. How silly I feel to be that controlled by the physical. I heard someone say once that you didn’t know something was an addiction till you tried to give it up. So me & meat? Who knew!?!

I am weak & tired today. I’m always like it these days, to a greater or lesser degree. I’m holding onto the hope that this illness is for a season & that one day it will come to an end. But until that day comes I am painfully aware of my frailty, my humanity & my need for you to sustain me God.

Teach me how ‘to rest my scars in yours and live my broken life fully.’

(quotation from Rachel G Hackenberg’s poem Ashes to Ashes Confession).

Writing to God. Day Four

Psalm 46

Restlessness.

Stillness.

If I am still am I being lazy? Doing nothing?

I might fall asleep…..

Brain whirring.

Thoughts flitting frantically through my mind.

Be still.

Remember.

Breathe….

Relax….

Slow…

Restlessness.

Be still.

Quiet my soul.

Be at peace my mind.

Breathe….

Relax….

Slow…..

Be strengthened.

Be still.

Writing to God. Day three

Isaiah 40.

Everlasting God.

Vast like an ocean,

deep & wide & full of mystery.

Your handspan can measure the width of the sky like my daughter uses her hands to measure how tall she is.

That’s a big hand!

A very big hand!

Water cupped in those hands is immeasurable.

You weigh mountains as though they were mounds of sugar piling up on a baker’s scales.

I cannot get my tiny brain around that!

You call each star by a name yet I can barely count them.

My life is insignificant in the enormity of who you are.

And yet you care if I am tired & weary.

You come to my aid.

Everlasting God.

Writing to God by Rachel G. Hackenberg. Day Two

Ephesians 6:10-18

Armour seems heavy.

Cumbersome.

it takes effort & preparation to put it on……

I am unprepared.

I am not ready.

God in my lacking.

God in the messiness of every day.

God in my unpreparedness.

God in the mundane.

God in the boring tasks.

God in the crumbs on the kitchen floor.

God in the dirty laundry.

God please teach me…..

Teach me to be prepared.

Teach me to be ready.

Teach me to see you in the ordinary,

the seemingly futile,

the repetitive routines.

God shine through the chaos

and the holes in my life.